Postcards From “The Edge”

1987

Dear Mum:

Last night we were having dinner with the President of America and Bono made a joke that I was “the edgy one.” Everyone laughed, even Adam and Larry. Even the President of America. Even his wife. I bent my spoon in half and had to hide it under my napkin. The President of America asked, “Not enjoying the soup?” and when I said nothing his wife said, “Quiet, dear … you’re putting him ‘on edge’” and everyone laughed again, hard, and I wished the earth would implode upon itself like a neutron star and suck me screaming into the eternal void.

Love,
The Edge

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/20malla.html

Postcards From “The Edge”

1993

Dear Mum:

On the new tour, Bono has us wearing giant heads. It has something to do with being pop stars. Inside my giant head, I cannot breathe. Also, they are heavy. And hot. And behind us onstage is a giant screen and I look up through the eyeholes in my giant head and see my giant head on the giant screen and I just want to tear the thing from my body and stamp it to bits on the stage, then crank all my pedals and smash my guitar against my amp, drowning out Bono’s caterwauling in a wall of feedback, and then just run and run and run and run. Hope you’re enjoying the new Jaguar.

Love,
The Edge

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/20malla.html